Chronicles of a Knight

her_knight @ 2006-12-01T15:12:00

2006-12-01T19:12:27Z

So. Here we go.

Yeah. I know it's been a while since I posted. I've been kind of busy and not always at a terminal. That is something I do want to change and plan on changing soon.

I've been real tired lately. Going to bed early and waking up early doesn't seem to help. Forcing myself to be up for most of the night doesn't help either, since it only exabates the situation.

Things also have been slowly changing within me. I know that there are some lines which should not be crossed. The problem comes into where I'm unsure at what point to draw the line. In a garden, am I a gardener, flower or weed. (This doesn't even count the whole dominant, s ubmissive angle, which I have that resolved)

I'm no longer tied down by the need to please everyone, since I know I'm going to be pissing someone off at least once a day. Now I just choose whom I please and whom I intentionally annoy.

More to come soon.

her_knight @ 2006-10-23T17:25:00

2006-10-23T21:34:15Z

Yes. I'm aware it's been a while since I posted. It's amazing what a lot one misses out on when one isn't able to post something.

For starters: I would love to know how and why I got cut from two peoples who I have in my friends list. Subverse, Red, if you read this, let me know, k?

Things have been busy. Stresseful. But you know, I think I'm slowly learning to deal with the stress. Time for me to return to my roots, if you will. Time for me to embrace the Ice within me.

Yeah, I know. See it when you believe it, ne?

Seriously, though. I can't believe how much of a f****** whining baby I've been lately.

More to come soon.

her_knight @ 2006-09-22T16:47:00

2006-09-22T20:53:13Z

Bless me. How long has it been since I did a post?

Huhhhn...where to begin. (glances at phone with ringing call from parent and tells the phone to shut it)

Ok. Levon was fired as of 7/14. She had too many instances of leaving the company stranded, and Walter had enough. So that made me the new pt co-ordinator full time.

(phone is ringing again) ...ok. ok ok.. I'm coming home...damn!

her_knight @ 2006-08-23T17:38:00

2006-08-23T21:42:56Z

I'm not dead.

That is all.

More to come later.

her_knight @ 2006-07-31T16:59:00

2006-07-31T20:59:28Z

Is it a bad sign when a person you're interested in has failed three sections of a test on a men's magazine "Keep or Dump" quiz?

her_knight @ 2006-07-26T16:50:00

2006-07-26T21:01:18Z

Meh. Not surprised that people didn't respond to my story. Maybe I should write about something a bit less...scifi and a bit more realtime? Thoughts along that way would be appreciated.

Still doing decent at the Nephrology practice. I think it's a joy to finally be allowed to have a job where they don't pay me lip service when I voice an idea. I know I irritated a few people with my blunt words, but the ting of it is...don't ever make the assumption that because I'm new I don't know what I'm doing. The person who reports to Walter (CC) said it best: I can spell it out to people..I just need to work on how I spell it out.

My .. spark .. if you will is slowly dying out. The spark I'm referring to: Creativity. I have a few very ..vibrant.. ideas, just have a very hard time trying to put the words to paper, research them or even experience them.

Some of my ideas:

A realistic ageplay scene that doesn't make me want to hurl. (Sorry. I pick up too much on emotions and can more or less pick up on an abuse in someone's life)

Finding a Gorean kajira who still calls me Master but retains their spark, their creativity. (The few I found have been 'owned' by someone else) ((If things go to fruition with Sharon I would love it if she would reconsider her stance on that))

The ability to find someone who I can deliciously torture with Chastity play.

The ability to find someone whom I can place seven layers of panties (of my choice) on them and then tell them they have 20 minutes to 'cum'. . .that if they can't they would spend another month w/o that release.

Meh

her_knight @ 2006-07-21T16:55:00

2006-07-21T20:59:24Z

An interesting story I'm writing

He would never get used to Tattooine’s desert heat, no matter how often Lothor practiced. The dry, stifling feel of the desert wasn’t something he was used to. Then again, there wasn’t that much he was used to, to begin with.

Slowly rising off his cot in his utilitarian abode, he yawned and stretched. Lothor was about six feet in height. Short, cropped blonde hair hugged his masculine face. A scar ran across his right cheek from eye to jawline, evidence of a ‘bounty’ who tried to fight him.

Did I forget to mention he was a bounty hunter? Or that he was a human raised by Noghri?

Yep. Lothor was a bounty hunter. He was accepted into the Academy about three months ago. It wasn’t surprising, considering his adopted parents were retired bounty hunters.

He had vague memories of his earlier years. A crash on a pleasure yacht. His parents fighting savage beasts. His mother shielding him with her body as a dark figure threw bugs against her back. It took him some time to learn that his parents were wealthy merchants who were assaulted by the Yuuzhan Vong on one of their ‘slave raids.’ This was before the ‘official’ war, of course.

An elderly Noghri couple found the wreckage of their yacht. They were blood-kin to Leia’s guard Meewalh who went into the ‘procurement’ business. Having retired the previous day, the female lamented on the fact that they never produced any children. To them, this was a blessing from the sky.

He was taught at a young age how to use a rifle. By the time he was fifteen, he could outmaneuver his father on ‘capturing’ live prey. They permitted him to ply his knowledge when he turned eighteen. The last memory he had of them was of them being proud of his ‘gracefulness’ and ‘agility’. For a human, that is.

The war changed that.

Everyone knows the story. The Yuuzhan Vong flattened the Belkadan station. From there, they began to stage their assault on the galaxy, claiming it was their right by the ‘gods’ to settle here, violently displacing anyone who got in their way. Many died during the early attempt, primarily by the New Republic’s mismanagement. It was also during this time that Lothor discovered the fate of his parents: turned into protein when his mother would not submit to the Warmaster’s advanced. Didn’t help matters that his father tried to carve out his heart. That earned his father a different fate: sacrificed alive during one of their ‘strange’ ceremonies.

Jedi during this time seemed to be the only people who knew what they were doing. It was also during this time that they made contact with Lothor shortly after his gruesome discovery. Mara Jade Skywalker, wife of the famous Luke Skywalker, managed to help ‘polish’ his skills, in exchange for helping Luke ferry refugees to safely. The fact that he didn’t know how to fly was rendered pointless.

It was during this time he ran into her.

She would not enter his life until later, after the treaty over Coruscant. He had retired from the spotlight, earning some notoriety as a hotshot pilot. Due to a severe lack of profits, he decided to become a ‘jack of all trades’, setting up shop on Coruscant (after paying dues to the local Guild Hall, of course)

It was a simple elimination contract. He was still surprised that a Jedi of all people would want someone eliminated. Her credit voucher was valid, however. After accepting the twenty-percent deposit for the fee, he eliminated a male. All she would tell him was that this male had wronged her in the past, and she wanted him gotten rid of. She said to see her in Chalum’s Cantina upon proof.

The day of her double-cross was still etched into her mind:

He entered the cantina, the hologram of his prey’s death in a small pouch on his belt. Also in the pouch was a small bracelet that prevented Jedi from tapping into the Force. The idealism of his youth was burned from him when Jedi, people he was supposedly protecting, treated his Noghri background as something to be ashamed of.

“Here!” she called, waving him over to a small booth. Wuher, the bouncer, glared at him. Standard policy since the time of Ben Kenobi was that there were to be no weapons of any kind. Too many people ignored his wishes, smugglers chiefly bending the rule.

So he had a small holdout blaster tucked in the small of his back. Slowly sauntering through the smoke-filled room, he reached her table. Lothor paused to fully intake his guest.

Slightly under a decade older than him, she came a little bit past his waist in height. Her crimson-colored hair flowed down her back like a pool of blood, lightly framing her angelic face. Emerald-colored eyes took him in upon his arrival, a small sneer forming in them. Her mouth was working on a noxious drink which she found refreshing. The nomex jumpsuit she was wearing clung to her ample curves, which made a certain part of his body stiffer than duracreet.

“Do you have proof?” she asked him. Nodding, he fished out the hologram and propped it to play. It was your routine kill. Trying for the direct approach, Lothor found his quarry alone in the woods one night. After announcing his intent, he gave the man five minutes to run. For some reason, the fool ran directly into an open field. Five minutes and thirty seconds after he announced his intent, Lothor fired a shot into his sternum. A few more precision shots were fired into his head, guaranteeing death.

At that, the hologram ended. “Now, pay me the rest of the fee” his raspy voice commented.

She shook her head. “Nope.”

“What? Alaria, are you trying to cross me?”

The laugh of derision escaping from her lips made his spine crawl. “Nothing of the sort, orphan. I wanted him unawares of the death, like I was unaware of his damage he inflicted. Nothing will be paid to you.”

This made Lothor bristle. “Nothing in the contract stated that!”

“My tone implied it. Now, if you don’t mind . . .what are you doing?!?”

He grabbed the bracelet from his pouch and snatched Alaria’s wrist. A quick motion and the charm was set. Without the ability to tap into the Force, Alaria was forced to defend herself using the strengths she was born with. Lothor’s estimation was correct: he was more powerful than she was.

A thump on the bar drew their attention to Wuher. “No blasters! Get that Jedi filth out of here, boy!” Wuher knew Lothor by his frequent trips to get wasted. Wuher also had no love of Jedi.

Her protests were heard throughout the street as she was drug outside. Once outside, a collar was snapped across her neck. Made from the skin of a ysalamiri, this reduced Alaria’s Force-attunement even more. In effect, she was his property.

On Tattooine, a slave could be dressed at the master’s discretion. He had no trust in her, and he didn’t trust her to hide something in her clothing. Therefore, Lothor summarily undressed her. Her luscious, bountiful breasts hypnotized him for a minute, her perky areola puckering due to the exposure to the heat. Between her legs was smooth, and he seemed to enjoy that view.

A small smile crept to his mind. Alaria was summarily raped upon their arrival. He approached his holding cell, intent to check on his guest.

The holding cell had a cot and a leash attached to a pole in the middle, since he sometimes had to capture prey that was more animalistic in nature. She was curled into the fetal position at the far corner of the cell, for all intent trying to shrink subconsciously from this place.

Lothor rapped the cage. “Wakey Wakey, pet. Time to introduce you to your new life!”

her_knight @ 2006-07-15T12:48:00

2006-07-15T16:48:41Z

For FFX-2...how does one get the AP Egg?

her_knight @ 2006-07-15T12:46:00

2006-07-15T16:47:58Z

Read this and you'll see my past week. And no..I'm not trying to be angst-y..I'm just tired of some ****.

Mom has Medicare and qualifies for 100% free care. She pays all bills on the 3rd of each month and spends $60.00 on food. Spe spends 5.00 on bus fare and leaves enough to keep the account open.

July 11: She had an appoinement for LEEP due to bas results of cervical biopsy. The doctors cancelled and sent her for a surgical appointment. She was told she could not be seen w/o 3.00 copay in clinic and 25.00 for the admission. She had to sell her silver cross to a pt who admited it for bus fair to the hospital because the social worker said she could get care.

July 15: Called hospital to see if they would wait till I got paid or mom gets her next SSI check. Mr. Robert Byers told me to borrow from friends. Explained that where we lived no-one has funds. He told me to overdraft her account. Explained that the bank would charge 12.00 per day for overdraft. That plus the bank's fees and the hospital fees would give mom a warrant and court date. Explained she was so stressed that she was actually listening to a pimp who wanted a 'fat one for rough play.' Explained I was considering what I could steal so mom would not die from cancer. He wasn't concerned. Said he would call later. (Never did) Mom and I talked and prayed. I would not steal and she won't listen to the pimp. By the time the hospital reschedules the appt. she will have cancer everywhere. (It takes 3-12 months for a reschedule). We've had to cancel her Neurology,Cardiology, and medical clinin appointments for the same reason.

Why does mom have to get full blown cancer because she doesn't have the new clinic fees we went' infomred about? Grady Memorial Hospital brags about its cancer center on commercials but they're going to let mom get full blown cancer and die.

I don't understand...

That was sent to some local media agencies.

Update

2006-07-01T15:29:39Z

Nope. Wasn't fired. I do have a job with the Nephrology Clinic.

Centralized Appointment Scheduler is my primary hat. Meaning: I verify insurance information for all five sites for the patients. I pull up the appropriate information and make notations of any co-payments or co-insurance they may have on their contract.

That's my first hat.

My second hat comes in when Levon isn't there. She primarily, besides keying in hospital charges for the five doctos, work as a New Patient Co-ordinator. Getting the information from the patients. Putting the info in the system. She's not there on Thursdays and Fridays, however. So that makes it my job as well.

Wanda is the Medical Records clerk. Your chart when you go to see the doctor? A medical records clerk makes sure that all the pertinent information is in the chart for the doctor. She's out every other Monday regularly. When she's out at another site on those days, or when she calls in, I do her job.

Three hats, but getting paid for one job.

It's not bad, really. I do work at an air-conditioned office. The pharmacutical vendors bring in lunch to try to curry favor with the doctors. Nobody is breathing down my shoulder. It makes things rather..interesting.

And that does end the update portion.

The pondering comes in here: How does one remain true to oneself and indulge the baser instincts?

More to come later

Meme!

2006-06-30T19:36:50Z

[URL=http://ff-fan.com][IMG]http://www.ff-fan.com/chartest/banners/laguna.jpg[/IMG][/URL]

Which FF Character Are You?

her_knight @ 2006-06-28T17:00:00

2006-06-28T21:04:45Z

This might get me killed..but a friend sent it.

This was written by a guy... it's pretty damn smart. Girls -- Have a sense of humor!

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit."

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?"

I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.

Alright girls. Repost this if you agree. Hell even if you disagree, repost it.

Men, repost this because you have balls

her_knight @ 2006-06-14T17:04:00

2006-06-14T21:12:29Z

Nope. Not fired. In fact, I was hired recently at 8.00/hr for 30 hours a week.

The question of whether or not I would be fired came about because I had violated a 'clean language' clause at a neo-conservative enviroment.

Yes, that was rather stupid of me. No, I will not do that again.

For those of you who follow through with the whole 'Sharon' debacle I've been going thorugh, I can put an end to it right now: we're not an item anymore.

We still do talk with each other, yet because of a few issues (conceptions of Maturity, the distance), we're cooling our jets. Being friends first. Then see if we can stand being lovers. Seeing if we can stand being 'Master/slave' or 'Dom/submissive'

Feh.

I'll do something more later

her_knight @ 2006-06-09T17:11:00

2006-06-09T21:15:19Z

Do any of you remember my post about fear being the soul-killer and mind-killer?

Seems I'm still afraid. And both mind and soul are dying.

How does one respond when one is free-floating into darkness?

her_knight @ 2006-06-09T17:09:00

2006-06-09T21:13:34Z

From..subverse

There's at least 1 person on your LiveJournal that wants to date you or sleep with you.

So lets play........ FRIENDS w/BENEFITS

The rules are simple...

If you want to date the person who posts this, post a comment saying "I'm yours"

If you want me to top/dom you, a "Please, m'lord" goes a long way. ;-)

If you want to top/dom me, "On your knees" works pretty well.

If you just want to sleep with the person and stay friends, post a comment that says "I'd hit it"

SCARED??? You ONLY live ONCE!

THE TWIST IS YOU HAVE TO REPOST THIS!!! & see who replies.

All responses will be screened

her_knight @ 2006-06-08T13:14:00

2006-06-08T17:18:30Z

Ehhh...

I may be fired tomorrow.

Nite.

Hey

2006-06-05T21:00:41Z

I'm tired. Literally and proverbially tired.

Been working 40-42 hours a week. Yes, I know it's nothing compared to when I would pull 80-90 hours a week working fast food. Believe me, I know the difference. I also know that I enjoy working inside an office-type setting where I can remain cool.

Unless I'm sick.

And I'm sick. No surprise there.

Could it be sick because of allergies or sickness due to stress?

The origional owners of where we live are selling the apartments piecemeal to anotther group of people. They did not have the dignity to tell us we were sold last week. Landlords said they would honor our rent. For how long remains in question.

Though I will say this: They are cleaning up the apartments they have brought. Massive arrests. Evictions. And the denizens shoot their guns nightly in protest. I consider it a good night when I only count 10 bullets of a single calibur.

Of course, Mom's stressed. Not by this, though. There is a wiretap on our phone. It was discovered because they charged a 44.00 installation fee to her phone. She's such a tightwad that she makes Lincoln beg for mercy. First clue there.

Second clue: None of the salespeople would look at her after pulling her record off the databases.

Of course, we then have people who 'pretend' to be our friends and who **** us over proverbially ask her on her recorded phone if SHE WOULD GIVE HIM PAIN PILLS SHE HAS!

He did not enjoy being called a 'mother******* ***hole'. That's what I called him. Mom was worse.

Problem there: He's..psychotic. Dangerously psychotic.

She needs to go to the hospital, but she is refusing to do so.

Yay.

NOTE: I WANT THE KHIII VIDEO GAME! THE TRAILER ROCKED!!!

More later.

her_knight @ 2006-05-15T17:13:00

2006-05-15T21:18:29Z

Meh. I'm very tired right now. Five things:

5) I knew I was a little crass in my last post. I fI had offended any of you, I do apologize.

4) Happy mother's day. You lot know who you are.

3) I have started a new job.

2) This job has a 30-day probation period where I earn nothing. This means my stress level has increased.

1) When I am able to earn money again I will resume posting regularly. Until then, my apologies if I am late in posting.

her_knight @ 2005-10-03T11:17:00

2005-10-03T16:17:47Z

My LiveJournal Trick-or-Treat Haul
her_knight goes trick-or-treating, dressed up as wolfman.
blu_eyed_gemini gives you 6 light blue coconut-flavoured pieces of chewing gum.
celinasub gives you 12 pink licorice-flavoured jawbreakers.
lpassociation tricks you! You get a block of wood.
mermaidnchains gives you 12 blue passionfruit-flavoured jawbreakers.
penultimate03 tricks you! You get a rotten egg.
quietwillow tricks you! You lose 13 pieces of candy!
redhotlips tricks you! You lose 8 pieces of candy!
slave_workbook tricks you! You lose 5 pieces of candy!
subverse gives you 2 yellow vanilla-flavoured pieces of chewing gum.
worthless_slut gives you 18 brown vanilla-flavoured pieces of chewing gum.
her_knight ends up with 24 pieces of candy, a block of wood, and a rotten egg.
Go trick-or-treating! Username:
Another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern.

somehow I'm not surprised. Those who tricked me...step close to me whip. :)

her_knight @ 2005-09-17T23:22:00

2005-09-18T01:34:29Z

This is going to be an interesting post.

As some of you might not have known, I had recently spent the most of last night and most of this morning in the hospital. I had recently suffered a brain injury when I fainted at work. Yes. You read right. Fainted at work.

I had been going through some tense moments at both home and at work, feeling as if I was 'free falling in the dark' falling and not quite knowing when the darkness would be lifted. A brief update might be in order:

Things are on the mend with Sharon, yet I seemed to have goofed recently. Tiffany was late showing up to relieve my shift for Monday so I could not meet her for our pre-arranged talk until much later. Tuesday night the same stunt happened. Wednesday night Jennifer had the hell beaten out of her and I had to spend some time with her in the hospital because she could not take over her shift.

This had caused some tension because I normaly do not open up. I really need to..and I hope this falling has helped me to learn a lesson.

Also things were going bad at work. Manager meals and employee discounts were yanked, as well as drinks (until yesterday). Tom's only excuse for this stupid-ass stunt was that his food cost was high. And he wanted it to be lowered. Idiot.

Anyway, I was having some stress at some unexpected expenses, still somewhat worried about whether or not I was losing Sharon, and I walked into the store being a clusterfuck. Tom when he's doing his Administrative business more than shift business ...*Shakes his head in dismay*

It took me three hours to repair the damage, and yet the store went to hell because he did not help, or was it because I didn't ask him to help do an Ingredient prep?

Anyway, we were slammed. I had a 'challenged' person on the Front Register, a newbie in the Drive Thru and myself and another 'blonde-moment' girl making the food. Donna (challenged) was arguing with me about the Ingredient Prep b/c she wanted to do things how they used to be. And I was told that if we did not follow the new guide, and our area coach threw away any expired food, we would be documented.

The stress, combined with the history of high blood pressure, and a couple of heart defects, caused me to pass out. I hit the floor hard. Left a nice gash on the back of my head and back. Spent most of the night in the hospital on the backboard, and most of the morning for observation.

Days after

2005-09-05T18:50:37Z

Things are still intresting after Katrina laid waste to New Orleans last Monday.

We still have evacuees trying to settle in Sulphur, which has seen a slight increase in crime, as has Lake Charles. And of course, people are still trying to find out about where the status of their loved ones. But they do get rude, as evidenced by the person forcefully screaming me off a McDonald's terminal yesterday. I did not strike back or get offense, because of the fact I am aware they are under a lot of stress, and it brings out the worst in them.

Of course, we also see the best of people as various agencies and people have donated a lot of time and effort to the victims of the hurrican.

Taco Bell has relocated three stores to various others in it's districts because of their stores being underwater. And have increased their labor hours accordingly to accomodate the new people in their stores. Considering that labor is one of their chief complaints, this shows a softer side of B&G Corporate.

McDonald's has placed signs over all their stores in this area asking for people who have been affected by Katrina (McD Employees and Families) to call them and the corpoation will assist as best they can. And the paper ads state that if an employee recently came from the Katrina path they will be given first priority in hiring.

Two Examples. Me? Because I can't volunteer due to personal reasons at the local Red Cross Chaper, I have set up 10% of every item I sell to go for Katrina Medical Relief funds. Which remind me subverse I need a current list of what your child wants for YuGiOh

I've been having a small increase of raging testosterone recently, which can help explain my mood swings. And it can be explained in a simple reason:

My outlet is gone.

Let me elaborate. When Sharon and I began dating, we made a vow to be exclusive to each other even in that manner. Training she does not object to, but penetration she wants for her 'character' alone. And this I do not mind to, because in the past we were on average at least a week.

That was before we have had our fights. Our last..chance was about three months ago.

And I am getting edgier by the second.

Bah. I have to go.

Night.

No..not dead

2005-08-31T21:40:50Z

I am happy to report that I was not in the direct path of Katrina's fury. There were some tense moments Sunday when we were /all/ waiting to see if it would demolish the city of New Orleans (God help you all) or swing by our way (In which case there was no way I could even remotely evacuate).

Sulphur has been dealing with the influx of New Orleans-area evacuees rather decently, I would hope to say. A nice thing to mention is that the restaurants have seen increased business when people want their comfort food and see familiar signs (Taco Bell, KFC, McDonalds, etc.) and decide to spend cash. The other drawback to Katrina is that the land lines used by most of the same restaurants to process credit card payments went down. As of 1633 CST, they have not been restored.

Me? I'm taking stock and re-evaluating a few things. A couple of them involve some personal habits of mine that I had been doing in the past which seemed to massively cripple me/still cripple me to this day. I am in the third day of breaking one cycle, and am going to start breaking another cycle tomorrow. Let's just hope this clears out.

In response to one of your previous posts redhotlips, you had asked how someone could go from a vanilla relationship to a D/s or M/s relationship or from D/s to M/s. If you are willing to read some of my thoughts on this, I would love to share them with you.

I've been taught, and I have seen the evidence firsthand, that when you give of yourself sexually to someone, you share a slight bonding with that person "Therefore shall a man leave his mother and father and cleave to a woman, and the two shall be one flesh" is another way to put it.

This carries over is the D/s and M/s relationship, in my opinion, in a couple of aspects as well. It is rather obvious from the s part as the submissive/slave is actively seeking to please the Master/Mistress and there forms a small spark of care and desire.

But from the Top? Yeah. It's there.

If nothing else, those who are extremely calloused feel some sort of affection for their pet/slave and naturally want to make sure they are ok and remind them that they are cherished. But there are some like me, who are both human and Dominant. As I explained it to Sharon before this slight snag in our relationship:

"I am Dominant, yes. but I am also human and your lover first."

As such...I know of quite a few males and females who became Dom/Master/Mistress to deal with the desire/need their partners had in their lives for a semblance of control and to give themselves to someone.

Honestly, I hope this brief glimpse helps

Any of you remember when I was expressing intrest in www.pamagazine.net because of a new twist on Male Dom/female sub?

Lost the intrest in the "Arranged" article. Basically paraphrasing:

Pretty girls from poor socio-economical backgrounds are being 'sold' as wives to those with the taste for the young.

Sorry...hit a bit too close to home.

her_knight @ 2005-08-28T22:44:00

2005-08-29T02:56:57Z

Is it a good sign or a bad sign when I get kinky in the first part of my update? Oh well.

Yes. I've had sex on the brain. Rather understandable, hopefully, if you realize just /how/ high testosterone surges through my body. Sad point of it is, because I don't quite have a guard on my mouth, most of the people where I work at think I am a pervert and a kinky lil bastardi.

One of the things I had been thinking about is Gorean, and how to train someone in that lifestyle. Yes, Sharon has commented on my growing backbone, and has commented on how I am...more assured of myself. She's even said something which she hasn't said in over a month (I love you) but more on that later.

I know the basics for silk classification requires that the girl know the serves and at least one dance, but I've been trying to do some research and see if that's actually quite it, and my research has led to two simple answers:

Yes, stupid.

The classifications for each silks I have written in a notebook and I am aware of the 'positions' for each. The rest depends entirely up to me. . .and I am rather..kinky right now.

In case people are intrested in tracking some of the things I might be researching:

- Lactation
- Belly Dancing
- Harem Dancing
- Rope Bondage
- Seduction.

And..well..hell. This is really going to be intresting researching this with the computers I use having filters on them. If I borrow from someone's LJ..I will credit.

Yeah. Will elaborate later but the sparks of love have been re-ignited.

Mini-Update

2005-08-19T03:22:06Z

So far, I think I am making some progress with her. There have been comments on both sides about the fact there are some changes with me and I am working slowly on the trust issue (read communication). She has been, once the proper chains of communications had been restored, keeping appointments with me to play on Revenge of the Jedi. Which has been a good thing. I am also instilling an old maxim: Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Which also means a no-communication ~tough on me..but I am working on it~ on days when I say I cannot be online.

I know I overdrafted today, big time. I had to buy a lot of medicine for mom. No idea how expensive it was.

I also kow Thursday I need to pay 100.00 toward my fine. Followed by 150.00 next pai period. Then I can work on paying off Sharon and my credit card.

For those who wish to keep tabs:
100.00-fine for selling to underaged
150.00-court cost

I need to move to Canada:
12,318.00 US dollars saved up
200.00 US dollars to apply for citizenship
1,750.00 US to apply for Self-Employment Visa, Work Permit, and Resident Status

Heading home. Nite all.

her_knight @ 2005-08-18T11:04:00

2005-08-18T16:05:34Z

I'm the dude